tick tock
wait for my heart to stop
a lifetime march toward
the end,
as you'd expect, lessened enthusiasm
come on in, I welcome the Numb
please wipe your feet,
step carefully
keep the muck outside and be careful
as you break off these nerve endings,
crush this perspective
tear every paper i've ever written on
into confetti and give it to the wind
let the deadening begin.

Seems like every day of my life
i've been told to sit down shut up,
quiet my heart, lessen my passion,
do what the others do,
fit into the crowd,
don't be so happy, don't be so sad,
don't have your feelings,
why are you so mad?

She must be fucking crazy,
most women are
Put her down, Yell at her,
put her in her place
and watch life fall from her face
life draining from her blood,
all she ever wanted was love and for this
she gets alienation.

So turn off the faucet of feeling
its never helped me anyway,
guilt, fear, shame, tears,
a daily hip-deep puddle to wade through
Turn off my passion to help you
my need for reciprocity
I need nothing but peace and quiet
I need you out of my life
I need support to help me
figure out why i have got it so wrong

Am I really so bad a person?
Don't I deserve affection?
Haven't I tried to love others in their despair
with every inch of my being,
its tearing me apart
and my reward a cold shoulder
for my own breaking heart.