Monday, 15 April 2013

be soon

daily i float
waiting for
the flare

sick of this
two
    or fro
be/tween no and maybe
in the arms wide open ocean
         swollen wooden plank
         deliberately leaking bucket
i see simple love
while you see an engineer
please build me a life raft
p'raps i'll use it one day
i don't want to see the blueprints though

i'm over it
fitting you to size
with something to stop your drowning
you                    dunk your head in the brine
         are          
                 addicted to salty sinuses

its not what you think,
no
no/t stories
no/t fear of things breaking

born shattered
i find my peace
in the spaces outside
canals and compasses
using my bedsheet as a sail
my gut a rudder

i wish this boat
had an auto/captain

i stopped leaving
blood in the water
for the sharks
           started leaving
           lands of living
sleep, is my drug
has always been my freedom
problem is
i always wake up
when the gull cries
warning of the rocks

end of each minute
punctuated with dripping eyelids
my withdrawals tire me
exhausting diet of
soggy rope
resentful coffees
salt-crusted fingerprints

i realise at last
i am a joke to you,
not a very good one.
something to roll your eyes at.

she
gives you white hot coals
fire is so pretty, na?
leaves scars people will ask you about
a dramatic tale you can share
                                  at last

i leave
only ripples in the water
buoyancy
my trademark
though my body craves the heavy
           my mind      /     the empty
i awaken
grudgingly

drift on
silently

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