modestly epic poem

Perspective is a privilege that
the vulnerable know well
a tired eye smiles
at many versions of hell
avoided

the blessings picked
out of the mess
dried tears upon the bedsheets
points of stars
like shiny scars
against the toughness
of the dark
ten thousand times over

there have been days
i stand in a pit
at the bottom of a
wishing pond
others tossing
cents at me
each strike a muted
branch
break a brain or two for peace

I stand with strands of cotton wool
Hide my nursing hands
Embarrassed

separate your lashes
from the fire
pocket ashen memories
in sentimental honour
what is left of us
when the mystery dies

we each are
the smallest of victims,
ones who still call for Mother in the moments before
shaking breath
Picked upon by Bully Death
Torn apart at the chest
heaving please
help me get outta this

There have been nights
where i fight off sleep
knowing that time
keeps me living
and the dawn
keeps giving
new days,

I know that moment your
heart does a backflip
landing on its head
where your pulse
breaks a sweat
just by getting out of bed
you're okay
inside whispers
its agony
to get through the day
you're okay

Despite all of it
or because of it
i live

it is becoming
more apparent
that each time i stumble
fall down my Everest
each time i fail despite
trying my very best
I remember
all along
i've been breeding
resilience

f it makes no sense
i'm left with
my violent paint
and angry resonance
Mud caked in my joints
fill my blood up with guilt
forget the life lessons
I'd built into happiness

the world is fucked

i'm not naive enough
to believe
my hugs change
anything
my smile on the street
doesn't help a single refugee
at the window of this
lucky country
my poems don't calm mothers
who's sons are gunned down
or the brothers who felt the size
of the step father's mounting anger
or every woman thats ever
been handled
out of hate instead of honour

my efforts at hope and love
don't change a
goddamn thing

but i will be singing
in the shower
as i wash off all the dirt
I will bring a candle
to your curtain
to show you
a piece of my glowing

I will withstand nah, welcome a deluge
just to see a rainbow arc
I will focus on the goodness
even if this world is fucked

don't think i don't know
how hard it can be
no one ever said
living would be easy
each sneeze echoes a bombing
the broken tiles on the floor
the broken lives of another war
each broken heart or red hot earthquake
the arms of a widow's last embrace
each broken family of violence and lace
each outspoken teen in defiance
facing the mirror
in despair

and the days roll on
the ever rising of the sun
the silent suffering
of everyone
carries on

but i will bring you a candle
we can all warm our hands on
and hug you so tight your thoughts
get choked up
i will point to those
tiny lights
filling the night sky
see the winking wonder of each one
as you drink your bottle dry
keep your eyes up

focus on that space of creation
when the weight of the world
is suffocating
and when you're drowning
and taking your very last breath
i beg you to keep treading water
keep that climbing in motion
an island of hope in
an ocean of sleeping bones
even if that
island is made out of floating garbage
or seaweed
just please, i urge you
to continue to breathe

no one ever climbs a mountain
to stay at the top
they all come on down
they stagger and drop
there's a lot that can kill us
there's so many threats
so chuck a sickie
roll a ciggie
put your feet up
catch your breath

In a dream someone told me
this world cannot be fixed
the beauty is in
the dripping blood
falling in love with
its gravity

waking up i see
we exist so fucking briefly
lives filled to the brim with death
so laugh with me friend,
rectify a skydive
Moment
That freedom of
Fuck
Yeh