woke up
swallowing
broken glass shards
pieces of congealed blood
dried mouth flavour
nightmares and forgetfulness
visions of splendid rage
fill fists just barely contained
at my side
gun under my chin
an idea i used to believe in
the eternal struggle
medicate
drink
slap on pharmaceutical bandaids and
pray for reprieve
I lost a heartbeat
somewhere in
the dumbing mist
don't know where i put it
somewhere between
ongoing concern
broken organs
a death in the family
these angry fists
lose a few more
dreams my self destruction
wait for enough space between beats
that life force is drained
stress is yesterday's problem
and you no longer have a body
i swallowed broken glass and razor bladed dreams today
felt them lodge
near my rotten gut
loosen shelf of smoke
deep breath in
hold it forever
stop the pushing
stop the pushing
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