There remain
Moments of peace,
All of them anonymous, uncounted,
Usually while I'm asleep,
I can't remember that it's all upside down,
That she's on the other side of life
And somehow I stay.
Good one God,
You really thought this one through hey?
Giving us humans our sunshine
Then snatching it back again
Soon as the chill wears off.

The inexorable push towards
Consciousness,
Wakes me,
Falling off a stilted bed,
Floor camouflaged in undone chores,
Stumble toward a stuttering urban waterfall
Hear every ghost within these walls
Say to me,
Sister, you're not the first one to have lived
And she won't be the last one that dies,
But don't worry, they slur,
Through toothpaste and
Smarting eyes,
I hear them hug eachother lightly,
Murmur an om and start rocking
Don't worry, we got her, sis,
Ancestors exist for this very reason,
To carry on communities, to guide,
While you thought we were here to keep them alive,
The truth is that they keep her loved,
Til we get there,
To her new house, probably made from
Clouds and cracked-open skies,
Pieces of dew,
Rainbows from her eyelashes
Mortar made of laughter
And foundations of our grief.

The only time I forget, is when I sleep.
Forehead clear and mouth slack,
I switch off the horror and dream,
Knowing I too have my deaths,
Nightly,
I disappear into my bedroom, sink into a pillow
And I pray.