Why

Concern behind every question
How are you..?
I think it is a good query,
To question my existence once
Wrapped in yours
I'm weary now and don't know
How I am,
How I am going to be.
I'm running on fumes and I have no energy.
I'm numb to the bone and sick to my stomach.
I'm really fucking depressed
And no, I don't anticipate
Happiness
So do not expect this of me.
I am trying,
To get through each hour without
Crying so hard my eyes explode,
Tear ducts are lost rivers now,
Hidden underground,
Inhabited with shame,
Don't ask me how I am
Because you cannot handle
This pain,
Nor can I.
I can't talk about it anymore
The words don't work,
They're stalling in my throat,
The net always ready to catch my disbelief
Hold your breath,
My death whispers to me,
Stop breathing and you'll be happy,
Stop existing alongside misery
Free yourself.
Inherent in this order
The imprisonment of others,
I am not resilient,
I am not strong,
I am tired, my bones feel a million years old
I need to sleep.
I need to find my weaknesses and crawl inside,
Brain etched with endless questions built from one letter,
Why?