the ringing returns but still clarity-free. trip to the optometrist won't help me see this time, i'm already on borrowed wine and cigarettes, choking down daily hangovers, hangups and dressup my face. it's better to be a bitch than pitied.

Can't care anymore,
flick off the switch

you stupid bitch,
how dare you give your heart away
without brain's strict permission

sure I said,
burn me, I said,
but i didn't really mean it

was just being
romantic.

i wanted to say
please don't leave me
in this state
with silence on our plates
the bread's turned stale

lost my appetite anyway

i do not deserve a truthful conversation?
i don't really deserve anything, hey?
Asshole from black heart
to burnt rage
i'm the shit you finally
got out of your system
flushed away
down the cistern.

I am rendered irrelevant,
like leftover tricks from Halloween

Run away, screams the brain.

Run away.

Felt a gap
In the spaces created
Tween my heartbeat and that step
Rest A little more,
Arteried blood,
Still yourself from the heat
Feel a slower reach
Toward muddy glass
Mirrored muck
Open lung
Slip a slicked word
Through clenched teeth
Tongue hard from
Cemented truths
Feel that loosened grip
As more real
Now

Shhhh... Veins,
Stop feeding into yourself
So much
It's okay.
To touch
Be blessed
To cocreate
In a single chamber
To release
A valve of steamed
Passion
Stains the walls
Otherwise.

Be happy,
In your choices,
You are your own prophets voice
That steps over
Your ethics delicately
You know
This kinda sorta
Real.

Feels like a loofah
Frictioning
The skin
Stiffly
Thought clear pores
Were a good thing

Sun's
Shadow over the clearest
Tunnel
Marking my
Cheeks
My body.

I wish for
Happy
To inhabit the lonely.
I wish for
Peace in each eulogy.
I wish for the share of
The healthy.
I wish,
I could help
Freedom.