Grace Dreamer

It is in your softness and rounded view
that I fall, scabby knees, snotty nose
for all my
m a n y
failings
stripped-bare bones
storming mind
arguments with self
you see my reaching
the straightening of my spine
the desire to find divine skies
in mediocre days
the desire to try
better
in every way
you mirror my sanity
you pat me back into my skin

You see my anger as misplaced sadness
hug the sticky-taped bits back together
union of crafted character parts
and marvel at my flashing eyes
while I feel beguiled by your wiseness,
starstruck by your compassion
Fashion myself a pocket to
keep your advice close by
steady my bashing heart
smooth out my wrinkled cells
build myself a rocket fueled on
your overview,
rise above this madness
this broken heart
close open books for a time
stitch up my sleeves
with wine-soaked twine

thank you for this lifeline.

You, dreamer, of unimaginable grace
I see all the things I wish to be
reflected in your face
I see you extend a hand
to pull me up from the stirring mud
and grateful I accept,
your soft, peaceful, global view of love.

start again

I'll dust your footprints from my shoulders
blow the fingerprints from the floorboards
kick out the cockroaches,
wash up the webs and weeds
spring freshen up this home
freshen up this heart.

The lessons fly from all ways, and here
I say to myself,
draw a line in the sand,
back yourself because
those who mind don't matter
and those who matter don't mind
Dr Seuss leading me home
from my brain's goose chase
I've roamed too long on the edges of others affections
there are eggshells between my toes,
sticky; Summer is nearly over
and I haven't washed clean these freckles once
with the waving water.

It may be true that you, blessed creature,
do not have this perspective and I do not wish you to,
it has led me to the corner of the world,
under barren skies and empty meaning
I have damn near removed myself
pon gleaning information I would rather not have
heart stabbed again and again but this farcical existence
needn't be attached to you and your curls
I have work to do,
refuse to leave my passion to the bickering of the masses
so peacefully, i remove my heart
from this tango
let the cards fall as they may
forgive myself for this wealth of difficulty
and start fresh with gleaming skin

The clouds build up in the sky again
I remember what you were to me ; friend
embody these beauties I miss from you
and promise to never do it again,
bind myself to trailing ends of expectations,
and summertime friends
nor resent their shining ignorance
to the heaviness in my veins
simply let go of associations
etched into this broken brain
start again start again start again

For you.

its easy to proselytize about what love means
and green with envy for my former self
I look to you.

Once upon a time, I lost my mojo,
admitted it freely and apologised for not being happy
for not being a golden friend
for not being, for not being, for not being,
and you, dear woman,
gave me to the ends of the earth and back in time,
your love shined more brightly than my freezing
and you presented to me,
a small bottle of silver filings, with a sticker on the side saying
'Mojo'.

I found it, you said proudly, pushing it onto me
you said you lost it, but you're just useless sometimes
and you gotta let me help you find it,
when your mind is on darker things
and i swear in that moment, I
heard the ringing of the stars,
the transfer of light to heart
the end of these tunnels into white
and your face,
Your precious face is all kinds of right.

Is it true what they say of
splintered speech and raked veins?
That friends who paddle sunny waves
will shelter themselves in the rain
while I seek cover
from a few palm fronds,
lick the falling water and forgive myself
for whatever wrongs I have committed
these sunshine friends deliver me truths
and deliver me back to you.

You and your bottle of silver linings,
when my mind is filled with thunder,
and my fists are filled with despair,
these linings on my windowsill
these pieces of chance at my door,
I grip tightly,
Acknowledge this is as it is.
Moreso, I wish for your happiness,
I will defend your right to pain,
and whatever happens, sunshine or rain,
I am committed to dancing in wet shoes
with you,
to throwing away the umbrella,
screaming 'come at me' to this
inclement weather
because you,
you are what matters.