For you, Stone.

There's only one person 
In the world who could make my 
Heart stutter with a happy tap dance
Knowing you were back from
One adventure or other,
I tethered my eyes to your skies
As promised,
And heard the rusty rack
Of the train's clickedy clack below,
Some souls moving on
And change becomes the daily rhythm
Ecstatic, you were written into my lyrics
When I'd wake and hear your happiness hum,
A low static vibration of peace and
My god we knew we were lucky.
You, bouncing out of your skin,
Pixie, belonging to a concrete forest,
I wish I'd had a chance to frolick with you,
To dooftown, to wonderland, fit for an alice
This lost world of freaks and open hearts would have been your calling,
You, of the zombie bop and stomping ruin,
Of arms slapping earth, a shattered breath and empty yearning,
You, of the lonely dial tone,
The held breath that you never finished,
The syncopated blood beat,
Draining into stumbling feet,
A muted mind stopped listening to music
For nine months
Til I recall the shaking of your bones
To breakbeats of inner beasts,
You gave your sins to the minions of
Movement,
Refused to take this life sitting down
You danced like the ground was your instrument and you, orchestral master,
Plucked my heart strings
Ever so delicately,
Play concertos with my poems
Lifted my nose up to the anti woes
In cumulus or in sunset,
My fret board's since been emptied,
My bass is out of tune,
The melody's off key and my soundcloud needs renewing,
There's a distant drum in the bush,
There's an echo in the hills,
Light flickers into harmony,
As shadow hits the windowsill,
Dugguda dugguda dugguda goes trance of my reeling mind,
Take comfort in the macro,
We all will die we all will die,
Tap out the words I'll see you again
Into the drying pavement
Mend this beatless heart with song,
Let go, move on, let go, move on.

Life Lessons

My body always grew before my mind,
and my spirit lagged behind an equal distance
three-quarters grown up by twenty six
with the final sprint a frantic climb
I feel eighty five, with the mind of a teen
and spirit of a child;
this last year I learned more
than all my time combined,
thanks to Professor Death
and Dr Depression,
anxiety meds and true confessions
there's lessons in life I wasn't expecting
so here's some without the side effects:

1. Death is a relief for the departed, and painful for the left behind. My fear of death now blessed with anticipation of warm welcomes at the other end. I imagine all the gone ones are friends now.

2. Love is like petrol, sets things on fire and gets cars moving; but we humans need our hearts checked, inspections done, tyres changed and driving lessons made to navigate this sea of damaged chassis, take responsibility for some crashes and get insurance for third parties to ensure we remain accountable for others we scratch. Also, too much fuel can be a bad thing, but no one ever tells you that.

3. Ask for help with your mental health - tell the judgement brigade to rain on someone else's parade, this shit isn't for attention.

4. Speak your truth and defend your perspective, put your hand up when you've failed and let your maker take care of the rest, just do your best.

5. Get a pet

6. Learn your sex and what you like most, this could be your best medicine and you don't know it yet. Sexual healing is real, and the doctor is your orgasm.

7. Stop asking permission for your vision for your life, there are those who would hold you down and those who would raise you high, aim for the latter, be ruthless in demanding your needs be met and get real with yourself when the magic ain't there. Get square with your childhood dreams even though it seems the world is pushing you to grow up.

For Aviel

We met in the spaces between 
Falling and reaching,
My first offer to melt your broken back with my fingers, 
Months later I would realise how 
Excruciating the feeling of oil on skin is for you,
But you never said a word
Except thank you. 
That very same weekend, 
the weather collapsed in on itself,
Iced dew on tents, a dangerous step to waking, 
And two frozen buddies seeking to find a warm heart, 
A burning conversation, 
a new hope in an old situation, 
redemption in opening up the bruised petal parts,
I knew from the start this was love, 
So we were covered in scratches and mud, 
Burnt memories and hugs, 
Bright sapphire eyes that lead lost sheep home in the night,
And a promise that this would not be given to the past. 
Fast forward two months, 
To our little home nest
Our little feathered son, a parrot called Icarus,
A backyard of sun, and each studio filled with art, 
An overflowing heart, 
A cynic whose open palms
Have melted my angry neck, 
A partner who stands up and defends my boundary line, back erect with pride, 
My lion man.
And me, allergic to cats, 
learning to embrace my sneezing, 
Soak up the sun, suck in this life
And lungs heaving
Give you my breath.