Mother Tongue

Oh hey everybody :)

Lucky me that I was asked (and blessed!) to perform at Mother Tongue in Melbourne March 15th, inviting the ever-talented Lou Millar to come on board to perform with me for a few pieces (https://soundcloud.com/louisemmillar)

The one and only video I have ever had of my performance here 

Peace x

The Womb

It began here nearly three years ago,
And I think back,
Over the sorrow,
The heartache,
The money I spent,
The sleep I left awake,
In order to make this

My home.

I raced to the office on a
Saturday afternoon,
to fax the rental application in first,
Bursting with life two nights later,
They'd made a decision,
It was ours.

Three years can be a uni degree
Or the growth of new life of a grafted tree,
Or the death of a friendship never
Meant to be
It was the turning point of my
Identity.

This place was a black hole of vibes and energy,
You sucked the living smile
Out of almost everything,
But from the bile and ashes,
A new sprig spreads her leaves,
Welcoming everyone as welcome family.

Birth of life, protective walls,
You demand so much more,
Than mediocre artistry, you demand a place for all,
To spread their wings,
Take first breath behind that open mic,
Commanding complete mastery of the artist's
Broken nights.

You've homed musicians, artists, poets,
Magicians in your heart.
you've offered counsel to busted souls,
You've left a burning mark,
Whether stranger or angel,
Whether roomie or no,
You've given each of us a place
We can call our home.

F is for faggot

F is for faggot,
You got that right, Dad,
You know, I'm a fag, too, don't you?
Why don't you just f-f-f-freak out?

F is for fuck off,
you wrinkly old dipshit
There's nothing I can say that will make you get it,
You poke and you prod, look for a reaction,
How's this, fuck you, get out of my life,
Peace comes with subtraction,
Sometimes.

F is for faith,
You believe in an imagined god more,
Than you do your own daughter,
Making up stories for how it should be,
meanwhile spreading hate and bigotry.

F is for flashback
To the moment you used to promise me
You loved me more than anything,
And silly me, I thought that meant
More than anything.

F is for the fallen,
Those who could war no more,
With the calls of the hating masses,
Men and women who're long gone now,
I'm sorry for the harrassment,
It's part of my blood too.

F is for Family, the ones I've chosen at least,
Those you're born with, a thorn in your side,
Til the day they release you in mourning,
The family I love the most are those
Who rose to stand with me,
Preferring solidarity over sitting.

F is for the flower,
I give each day to the girl,
Who makes me even gayer,
the girl of the swaying hug and the timid way,
Who never asks me to
Pray for straightness.

F is for fabulous,
Because I fucking well am.

shock

to you:

it's the sound of your heart cracking
open

it's the sound I never want to hear
again

its your anguish in a sound, not spoken,
guttural

its the light of reality spilling without
within

i am sorry, i repeat in my mind,
like a mantra
all i can offer, are the arms around you,
in a spontaneous hug
yes.. we are at work but so what..?
we are human and
its the very least we can do
when your heart has been shot

i am still sorry, one month on,
my heart reciting not-too-glib cliches,
hoping one will fit, something will stick,
somehow I know there is a stitch of a common life here
this is a fear we all share
and never talk about

thank you for talking to me
about it
it is a gift

i remember when my mother's mother passed
and though you're not my mother,
sometimes you are just as important
in a different way
i would say to her, its okay, Mum
there is no more struggle where she is
no troubled mind or
puddled street
she is now a lake of serenity
or the colour of a galaxy

and sure.. i might sound like a hippie
but it is a scientific fact
that you cannot destroy energy
(Einstein said so)
and though you might miss her
on earthly days,
she has returned to her mother,
as you will too one day

whether you believe in souls or science,
they tell us the same thing
we have wings inside us
we were always meant to fly
but we don't ever know this til we lie down,
ready to die, (or not-so-ready)
ready to change our energy for the light
call it heaven or
reincarnation
afterlife

all i know is that you
can't destroy energy
so the warmth of the sun
or the misting of rain,
is all of our mothers,
saying, 'darlings,
forget your pain.
I am still here, just more
evolved.'

for the fortunate who have not known death:

you could be anywhere in the world,
with any minor annoyance or bigotry,
you could be feeling self conscious,
be spilling over with misery,

but at least
you live

that is enough

you could be struggling in stress,
in finances, spiritual unrest,
but who said living would be easy
no one did,
the point is
you live

that is enough

how quickly one's breath becomes history
how sudden that deathly heartbreak
live with fist on heart, heart on sleeve,
sleeve raking the goosebumps up your arm

feel the sensation
feel the relief
that you live

that is enough

one day you will be able to let go
but when you do
know that you've lived
the width
not just the length
of your life

it is a gift

i'm sorry your heart
breaks
it is built to
it is the human experience
it is survivable
it is part of
the life you live

give yourself a chance
to appreciate
stillness
when you're resting
from the dance

Mama Tierra

I hold the galaxies in my skin, 

Freckled stardust among a web of veins, 

I am the beauty of virtue not sin, 

The Universe is my name. 

The wind speaks through my bones, 

The mountain faces mouth me signs, 

Each freedom moment and glacial groan, 

Sings, 'I'm so lucky to be alive!'

There's a branch pointing the way for me, 

There's the start of the rains in the air, 

I thank each footstep placed carefully, 

I thank Pachamama for caring. 

The ice builds numb in my face, 

I duck for cover, she throws her gales, 

Stumble up exhausted, looking for safety, 

My breath coming out in wails. 

She is relentless and so beautifullly cruel, 

As I fall down her mountains I smile, 

I thank her so much I feel like a fool, 

You see, she let me live for a while. 

So i slide, knee deep in her earth, 

The snow soaking my socks and my shoes, 

Finally falling off the edge of this southern world, 

Screaming, 'fuck yes, I cant lose!!'.

The glacier grins at me rubbing her hands, 

Clapping thunder over waterfall grey, 

I salute her as I rise myself to stand, 

Completely dissolving myself in the day. 

Rock gossips running under my feet, 

A forced reckoning with fear, with fate, 

Your lessons, Mother Earth, so painfully steep, 

Leaving me in an enlightened state.

La familia del circuito

It is said that those who drink Calafate sour, 

Will return one day in a blessed moment, or hour, 

To the wildlands of Chile, this Patagonian place, 

He explained with a smile on his Brazilian face. 

I want to go back to the mountains, my home, 

Where the men carry life on their shoulders, 

I want to return to the sendero so lonesome, 

With glaciers frozen, the wind even colder. 

Take me to the place where possession's unknown, 

Where there is only the spirit of us, 

Where the flag of Magallanes so proudly is flown, 

Where we leave only footprints in dust. 

There's a place where the wind knocks you down, 

And tests your courage to its very core, 

This place where Pachamama makes you bow, 

A hundred times til you're bloody and sore. 

In return she'll give you her birdsong for free, 

And the embrace of the longest of days, 

When she rains, washing dirt from your eyes you can see, 

All you lacked in that big city haze. 

Take me back to the place where I awake to laughter, 

From my humble tent bed in the mud, 

On the trail it was 'now', there existed no 'after', 

I keep the beauty of the O in my blood. 

Take me to snowfall and the snapfreezing cold, 

Where the wind screams and howls through the night, 

Take me to cliff faces, of terrors untold, 

Force me to face alone, this fear of heights. 

This place has feathers of watery wind, 

Sheer drops onto glacier and ice field, 

If you look closely enough, you'll see rainbows within, 

Tears in my eyes and my heart, I kneel. 

Take me to where the mat'e is shared, 

Crocs as far as the eye can see, 

There is nothing on earth that can ever compare, 

To the gift of each day here, born free. 

I'll go back there one day, I have no doubt, 

There exists magic in forest and sea, 

I'll never forget you, your delighted shouts, 

As these trekkers turned into one family.

Embraces

What the fuck is going on?
How on earth did I grow such fondness
For such creatures,
Tell me preacher, when you speak of holy,
Do you realise your golden connections
Are folding into your soul,
Your being grows older on the shoulders you cry on,
Your best friends, your soul mates,
Your psychological soldiers.

May I interject myself for a sec,
How the fuck does a private Catholic schoolgirl nerd,
With glasses, freckles, a learned way,
The bubble-wrapped only daughter
Of the Colonel and his lady,
Meet such ridiculously incredibly people,
That have become my God, my church, my steeple,
My holy spirit resides in this leap of faith alive,
And I know there is somethin mind-boggling here.

A magician gypsy boy,
Twists perception toying with minds,
This kind kind man doing whatever he can
To see beauty and find
Himself.

A faery flits in, tinkerbell in light and nature,
This beauty beam of love is miniature in statue,
Sister girl fly in my world,
Stay a little while longer,
Theres too much yet to play
And prolong lifes decay today.

Pixie gypsy bouncing dance,
Eyes smile wide as oceans wave,
Theres a certain kind of saving
She grants me every day.
Love you sister, love you lady,
Walk this way a while more
And in the waning moon,
Let me hear your lionhearted roar.

These dearest hearts of mine, divine,
Feel like mere whispers in the wind,
You feel their touch upon your soul,
Though they may disappear again.
Friends I love, minds connected,
A happy life somehow elected,
Feels like a dream I conjured, prayed for,
In some smoke-induced haze.

Teach me this my ideal folk,
Teach me the beauty connect unspoken,
To stoke the fire, breathe the warmth and
Choke on overwhelming love smoke.
I cannot hold the fire close,
Only marvel at her rosy cheeks,
I cannot speak to her in wooden creaks,
We reach eachothers hearts through dancing,
The answers clear, my fears dont stay,
And I start my life again,
In the holiest of places,
In the embraces of my friends.